In 1965 Jean Raborg was living the American dream. She had done everything right. She had been raised in a Christian home. Her mother had been the organist at Morningside Presbyterian Church in Phoenix, Arizona. She had married her college sweetheart, John, whom she had met at Arizona State University. Now they were living in San Diego, California. They had two wonderful children, a daughter Janelle who was nine years old and a son John who was six. She was a popular home economics teacher in Kearny Mesa High School. She loved being a teacher, and she loved her students. The students could feel Jean’s love and acceptance, and often came to her with their problems. It was common for Jean to pray for her students and even pray with them. In 1965 a public school teacher could still pray with her students without fear of losing her job. Jean’s husband John had a promising career selling life insurance. He had already won some award, and they had begun prospering financially. With their combined incomes, they were able to buy a lovely home on a hill in a suburb north of San Diego. They bought new furniture, and with Jean’s decorating abilities their home looked like one of those show places out of Home and Garden. What more could any young couple want – a beautiful home, fulfilling jobs, a wonderful marriage, sweet children, and all of this in the midst of financial security? In addition to all of this there was a vital spiritual dimension to Jean’s life. She was more than just a nominal Christian. She had loved Jesus will all her heart since she was 14. When she was 19, she had an encounter with God that caused her to believe in the gifts of the Spirit. She believed God who could do miracles. She and John had joined a church that believed in supernatural ministry. In spite of their work schedules they were heavily involved in their church work. Jean really had it all. She had a wonderful family. She had never know depression or sorrow. She had prosperity and she had intimacy with God. She had a perfect life.
There was only one small problem in her perfect life. Jean was a perfectionist. She didn’t know how bad her perfectionism was, and before 1965, it hadn’t really caused her too much trouble. But now she found herself with more responsibility than she had ever had before. She was teaching 150 students every day. The more she loved those students, the more she took on their problems and their stresses. She put everything she had into her teaching. Also, the new house was not turning out to be the blessing that she had thought it would be. It was larger and required more effort to keep it clean than the smaller house they had before. There was the added worry about the new furniture – a worry that a nine-year old girl and six-year oldboy couldn’t really share. Jean began to come home drained physically and emotionally drained. It seemed that her own children were beginning to require more from her than she could give. In order to meet her own children’s emotional needs, she frequently had to let the house go, and this bothered her. It seemed like it was all she could go to get a meal on the table for John and her children and then clear away the mess afterwards. For the first time in her life, Jean began to have a problem sleeping. This didn’t make any sense to her because she was so tired when she finally got to bed at night. But now it took her longer to go to sleep, and her sleep was fitful. When she woke up in the morning, she seemed almost as tired as she was when she went to bed. Jean began to long for the weekends, not because she could rest, but because this gave her time to get her house in perfect order. And then there was their church, Jean and John were committed to their church. It was difficult for her to say no to the needs there. So instead of allowing herself to be refreshed on the weekends, she usually began Monday even more worn out than she was on Friday. As Jean approached exhaustion, she began to realize she could not handle all of her responsibilities. She began to feel like she was drowning – slowly, but surely and losing contact with reality and life. This type pressure was unknown to Jean ever in her life. She started talking to John about the pressure she was feeling, but then she thought, How could I worry John when he is already so overworked? She thought about telling someone at church, but a VOICE went off in her mind telling her that no one should ever know that SHE CAN’T REALLY HANDLE THINGS – that she should just keep going and everything would be alright. She didn’t know where this last impression came from, but she decided to obey it. She talked to no one about her exhaustion and the mounting stress that was drowning her. She decided to keep going. For the first time in her Christian life, she stopped having what she called “her time alone with Jesus.”
Descent into Madness
By February of 1965, Jean became desperate. She went to her family doctor, and the nurse led her into on of the examining rooms. In a few minutes Dr. Bowers came in. “Hi Jean, What brings your here today?” the kind physician asked. Jean begins to sob to the doctor and explains to Dr. Bowers that she just feels like she is on a merry-go-round and is almost ready to drop. Dr. Bowers diagnosed Jean with pure exhaustion. He told her she would have to make some changes and get some rest. “You are not using the wisdom God has given you, Jean” he said. He gave her some medicine that would help protect her immune system and give her a little more energy. She began to feel better, but she ignored the doctor’s advice about the priorities because all her life Jean had managed to make thing work despite all her duties. The summer of 1965 came and Jean and John planned to go on a vacation John had won through his company. The night before they left she felt a sharp pain under her arm. Putting her hand under her left arm, she felt a large hard lump. She collapsed into a chair. A black despair fell over her. She thought of her best friend, Ann, who had died form cancer when she was 28 years old and had left two beautiful little children behind. It had all begun when Ann found a lump just like this one.Out of the darkness that enveloped Jean, a voice whispered, “You have lost weight, you are tired, you have a lump under you arm, and you have all the other symptoms Ann had. You have what Ann had, and it is just a matter of time before you join her.” Jean had never known the kind of fear she was feeling now. It was paralyzing. She felt her legs going numb. She couldn’t walk. the icy hand of fear gripped her heart and squeezed it so that the hope of the Holy Spirit oozed out of her heart and was lying in a pool on the floor beside her. Jean became powerless to reclaim it. The voice told Jean she couldn’t tell anyone. “Don’t tell John and ruin what few months you have left. And just forget about telling God about this because He’s punishing you for your inability to control things that have gotten out of control.” Jean thought this was a judgment on her for failing in her responsibility as a wife, a mother, a teacher, and a Christian. No, it was over. There was nothing left except to waste like Ann had done. The vacation was a disaster. All Jean could think was, “I am dying, I am leaving these two beautiful children and my precious husband. I am leaving my beautiful home on the hill, and I won’t be here to teach next fall.” She kept touching the lump, which seemed to grow every day. As it grew Jean became thinner and thinner, and slept less and less.
By the time she got back to San Francisco she was no longer functioning as a human being. Sometime that summer Jean started crying and couldn’t stop. John couldn’t understand it, and she couldn’t tell him. Jean was having a breakdown, but since she had never known anyone who had had a breakdown, she didn’t realize what was happening. Somehow she made it to the end of the summer. Her principal told her she had been made head of the Home Economics department. Instead of causing her to celebrate, the news pushed her to the verge of hysteria. Jean started teaching that fall but was an emotional wreck. Every time the students left the room, she broke into tears. After a couple of weeks trying to teach, she went back to see Dr. Bowers. When she tried to tell him what was wrong all she could do is cry. Finally she raised her arm and said, “what is this?” After examining her Dr. Bowers said, ‘Jean why didn’t you come in here after you first found this?” After an examination Dr. Bowers determined the growth was not cancer or even a malignant tumor – it was just a swollen lymph gland and suggested minor surgery to take care of it. Instead of receiving the news in joy, Jean assumed both the husband and the doctor were hiding the real facts from her. The voice told Jean that John and Dr. Bowers had conspired not to tell her right away about her cancer because she was so depressed and had been crying so much. In spite of the doctor’s assurances, she was more convinced than ever that she had cancer and that the doctor was lying to her to keep her calm until the surgery. Jean had been so confident and competent that she had never learned to ask for help. This situation had spread to Jean’s soul and no one could seem to stop the descent into oblivion she was taking. That night she began to pound on the bedroom walls at the house and cry hysterically. John had never seen Jean act like this. When he didn’t get her to stop, he slammed the front door in anger and escaped to his office. The next day John tookJean to Dr. Bowers again who recommended a 2-week rest from school. After the 2-week rest one of her students in her class asked her where a certain ingredient was. She stared at the student for a minute, and then a blank look came over her face. Slowly the words, “I don’t know, I don’t know,” came out of her mouth. it was a though something had switched off inside her and everything she had known as an adult seemed to leave her. She became like a child. She heard herself saying, “I am leaving this room, and I do not think I will ever come back.” Without any warning, she began screaming hysterically and ran for the door. One of the teachers across the hall saw her bolting from the classroom and ran out to intercept her. She threw her arms around Jean, who was sobbing. “It’s all over, it’s all over.” The colleague, Jane, calmed her down and got her into the car. She took her to Dr. Bowers, who immediately called a psychiatrist and made an appointment. By thetime John got to the psychiatrist’s office two hours later, Jean had still not able to talk to the psychiatrist. All she could do was sit in his office and cry hysterically. The psychiatrist found that only drugs could calm Jean. He started her on tranquilizers. Jean could not believe that she, a born-again, Spirit-filled Christian, had to take tranquilizers. She slid into an abyss of hopelessness. She never went back to the classroom and ceased functioning. It got to the point that all she did was sit around the house and cry all day. John had to make herself even comb her hair, and get the children ready for school and go to work.
Jean became suicidal. She began attempting to take her own life on several occasions including one day when she tried to jump out of John’s car on a busy San Diego Freeway. He was barely able to restrain her. The doctor put her on thorazine. John took her to work to keep her from harming herself. But Jean could not feel John’s love, and the drug didn’t really dull her pain. She felt enveloped by a suffocating darkness. She felt mentally, emotionally and physically dead. Thoughts of suicide were always on her mind. While all this was happening Jean’s parents, Carl and Jesse Williams were in anguish over their daughter’s illness and descent into insanity. Carl was the international treasurer of the Full Gospel Businessmen’s Fellowship. He traveled with Demos Shakarian, its president and had occasion to meet a number of well-known Christian evangelists. He and Jesse had taken Jean to all sorts of crusades and Christian meetings in order to have pastors and evangelists pray for her healing. Many of the most famous healing evangelists of the 1950s and 1960s prayed for Jean to be healed during this time, but nothing happened. She grew worse. By February 1966 Jean have a complete breakdown and simply stopped functioning as an adult. John did everything for her. Janelle, now 11, had become the mother of the house. After losing everything and basically being cut off from their church, friends and family, John pleaded with Jean to go back to the psychiatrist. She had stopped taking her medication and vowed never to see another doctor again. In spite of these protests, on Jean Raborg 36th birthday she found herself in the office of Dr. Jim Dickson and in front of the MesaVista Psychiatric Hospital. The building was not what she imagined. She found it physically beautiful. She thought, “perhaps I can get some help here after all.” Her and John signed the admitting forms and began to walk down a long corridor. The warmth Jean felt in the lobby disappeared. They came to a stark metal door that had one small window in it. They walked through the door, and when it slammed shut, it automatically locked. Jean was on one side with a nurse, and she saw John on the other side through the little window. At this moment Jean Raborg realized it would be a long time before she would see her husband and family again. She called out for John and he was gone. She called out for God and he didn’t seem to be there either. She stood there, stunned. The windows were barred, the room small. She was alone. She was given more thorazine, and she slipped off into mental oblivion. No matter what kind of therapy they tried on Jean, she didn’t respond. She spent her waking hours in a daze. She began to want to sleep all the time. At four in the afternoon she would go to her bed and curl up in a fetal position. In the mornings, a nurse had to make her get out of bed. A few times she seemed to come back from the darkness and pretend she was feeling better. On these occasions they would let her go home for a visit and she would just wonder through her house from one bed to another,trying to sleep, but finding no rest. Her doctor would not allow sleeping pills and soon as she got home from the clinic she would always wind back up in the psychiatric ward. John kept hoping Jean would regain her sanity, but everyone else knew that she was not coming back home. Their children had given up hope. Her parents had given up hope. And Jean herself had given up hope a long time ago. Jean knew she would never leave her prison again. The doctor suggested Jean stay indefinitely. As Jean sat on her bed crying, doped up on thorazine, drowning into this abyss, that same voice that had come to her in the very beginning of this descent came to her again and said, “How could a Christian who loves God and believes in His supernatural power end up so far away from him and in an insane asylum?” Then the voice offered Jean the answer: “You have committed the unpardonable sin. You have blasphemed the Holy Spirit. You can never be forgiven. This is your judgment.” Jean believed that voice and basically sank even further to the bottom of her mental pit never to return again.
Meeting Paul Cain
In October 1968 Carl and Jesse Williams traveled to San Bernardino California to hear a healing evangelist named Paul Cain. On the last night of the meeting Jesse stood up and asked Paul if he would pray for her daughter, who was locked away in a mental institution. Paul agreed and prayed for Jean. After the meeting Paul asked the Williams where their daughter had been institutionalized. They told Paul that the hospital was somewhere in the San Diego area, but they did not know its name or precise location. John had refused to tell Jean’s parents where she had been institutionalized. Although his relationship with Jean’s parents had been extremely strained, he didn’t do this out of meanness, but rather out of despair. Every attempt by the Williams through the healing evangelists had not helped, they had only aggravated the situation. Promises of healing that did not materialize just caused Jean to lose even more hope and strengthened her view that God had truly forsaken her. In the end both the institution and John agreed that Jean would be better off if she was totally isolated. John had cut off all contact between Jean and the outside world, except with himself.
Paul told the Williams that he would continue to pray for their daughter. Paul walked out of the meeting at midnight and went to his car. After two continuous weeks of meetings he was dead tired. Of top of that he had a severe sinus infection. Paul thought it was ironic that the Lord had used him to heal various people over the last two weeks while he himself had remained sick. He put the key in the ignition, but before he turned it he prayed one more time for Jean Raborg. As he prayed, he began to feel the compassion of Jesus for Jean. What started as a simple prayer became a torrent of words and emotions as he petitioned the Lord to deliver Jean from her madness. He wept as he felt the heart of Christ for her. As he was weeping, he looked up to heaven and the night sky turned into a giant television screen. On the screen, he saw jean in the psychiatrist’s hospital and he saw the things about her life before she went to the hospital. Then God spoke. It wasn’t audible, but it couldn’t have been any clearer than if it had been audible. These sentences formed in Paul’s mind:” If you will go to San Diego and pray for this woman, she will instantly healed to my glory. And I will use this testimony to the end of her life to encourage women with hope.” The next morning Paul drove to San Diego. He felt impressed to pull of the freeway at a certain exit in San Diego. He walked up to a pay phone without knowing Jean Raborg was two blocks away from the Mesa Vista Psychiatric clinic. The Williams had given Paul Jean Raborg’s office number and home phone. He called John’s office and no one answered. He called the home and got Janelle the daughter. He asks her for the number and is told, “I’m sorry sir, but I cannot give you the name of the hospital. No one is allowed to see my mother but my dad.” “Janelle,” Paul said, “I don’t want you to disobey your father, but I would like you to stay on the phone for just a minute longer. You see the Lord sent me here to help yourmother. I am going to pray now. Please stay on the line.”
Paul prayed, and in a few seconds he saw the giant television screen again. This time he saw a San Diego newspaper with a headline that said, “Mesa Vista.” “Janelle, I believe the Lord has shown me your mother is at Mesa Vista. I just need you to confirm this for me. Does that name mean anything to you?” “That’s it sir! that’s it, my mom is at the Mesa Vista Psychiatric Hospital.” Paul thanked Janelle and said “Honey, I know this has been a weary road for you and your family. You have had to be strong while your mother has been so sick. I want you to know that God is going to heal your mother and she will be home in THREE DAYS. And when she comes back she will be back to normal and full of joy. Goodbye.” Paul walks through the Mesa Vista Clinic and finds the receptionist. “Hello, my name is Paul Cain. I am a minister and I’m here to see Jean Raborg.” The receptionist turned to look up Jean’s room number. Next to Jean’s name were the orders, “TO SEE NO ONE BUT HER HUSBAND- ESPECIALLY CLERGY!” The receptionist looks at the chart, turns around puts it back in the folder and said, “Come right this way Mr. Cain she’s right back here.”
Paul walked straight through the nurses’ station and asked for Jean. She was in occupational therapy now – sealing envelopes. When Jean sees Paul she screams “Dear God, who is that man? He looks just like an angel. I see your glory coming from him. Oh, I wish someone like that would come see me.” Paul went to Jean and said “Jean, my name is Paul Cain. You don’t know me, but I know you. What I am going to say to you is going to be difficult for you to understand. Jesus has sent me because he loves you and because he is going to heal you. I am going to pray for you today, and he will heal you, and you will be home in three days.” Before Paul had gotten there he had prayed for Jean to have a sound mind since she had been so drugged up on thorazine. “Before I pray for you Jean I want to tell you two things that will help you understand God has really sent me here for you. The first thing Jesus told me to tell you is that you have never committed the unpardonable sin, and he knows you love him with all your heart.” Jean thought she was going to burst. “Oh, I do love him, I do love him – I love Jesus with all my heart! she exclaimed.” “The Lord also told me to remind you of something that happened when you were 14 years old, Jean. You were at a summer camp in Oregon, and after a service one evening you threw a pinecone into the fire, and you asked the Lord Jesus to come into your heart, and you asked him to make you a missionary.” “Yes sir!” Yes sir! But how could you have possibly known that?” Paul took her hand and said, “Jean, I didn’t know that but the Lord showed me those two things so you’ll know He’s really here for you. He says he is about to make you a missionary, but not the way you thought.” Paul abruptly stopped speaking. He closed his eyes for a moment and then said, “Jean, I am having a vision right now. I see a man standing in an airline uniform, and he’s a pilot. He is a friend of yours, a neighbor of yours. His wife’s name is Pat. What’s his name?” Jean answered “His name if Allan Lindemann. He is a captain for PSA Airlines in San Diego. He lives right across the street from us in University City.” Paul said, “You also have a neighbor named Marion. In the future you are going to tell Pat and Marion what the Lord has done for you, and it will change their lives. And you are going to give your testimony to the man in the airline uniform and while he is dressed in that uniform he is going to believe in Christ through your testimony. Now let me pray for you.” As Paul prayed for Jean she said it felt like a giant heating pad had been put over her abdomen. Then she had a sensation of hot oil being poured over her and penetrating every fiber of her body. At the same time, she felt a cloud of oppression lift off of her. She started shouting for joy, “I’m healed, I’m healed!” Paul said “No, Jean, you’re not healed yet. When I leave there, the madness is going to try to return. God is going to put a scripture in your heart when I walk out this door. That scripture is going to seal your healing. When the evil voice returns to you, don’t listen to it. Instead say, “It is written,” and then quote whatever verse comes to your mind.” The Spirit and the Word will heal you and will keep you healed. Jean, you will be home in THREE DAYS and you will be filled with joy. Good-bye. I will be praying for you and will be in touch.”
Paul walked out the door and just left. Jean picks her Bible up and tries to focus on the pages but cannot because of all the thorazine in her system. Her mind began to cloud again and she could feel that same numbness trying to come back. Just then she put her Bible down, stood up, walked out the door and as she walked an passage from the Old Testament came to her mind just as clearly as anything could be: “FEAR THOU NOT, FOR I AM WITH THEE; BE NOT DISMAYED; FOR I AM THY GOD; I WILL STRENGTHEN THEE; YEA, I WILL HELP THEE; YEA, I WILL UPHOLD THEE WITH THE RIGHT HAND OF MY RIGHTEOUSNESS.” At that moment she felt an icy hand try to grip her heart. Each time she would just walk and down the hall screaming Isaiah 41:10. Everyone around her said, “Don’t listen to her, she’s crazy, she’s crazy!” NO, Jean Raborg had just been healed. The next morning, her psychiatrist, Dr. Appleford came to see her and immediately said JEAN, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU! Why aren’t you crying? Where did that smile come from? I have never seen anyone in my entire practice snap out of depression overnight.” Jean told him what happened when Paul visited. Dr. Appleford said, “Jean, I’m a backslidden Presbyterian and I don’t believe in miracles but what I see before my eyes is changing my mind. I am going to have you observed for a couple of days and then i will make another evaluation.” On the THIRD DAY, a bright sunny October morning in 1968, Jean Raborg walked out of the mental clinic never to return again. Everything had changed when she got home. John and her had gone bankrupt. The house on the hill had gone. They lived in a small apartment now. None of their “stuff” had been able to give them joy or protect them from the enemy but now by the mercy of God John and the children had gotten back their wife and mom. The SPIRIT and the WORD of God had set Jean free. Since they lived in a poorer section they didn’t see their old friends anymore. But a few months later, she returned to a Bible study group in her old neighborhood to give her testimony of God’s deliverance. Pat and Marion were profoundly impacted just as Paul Cain had prophesied.
Soon after Jean’s healing, the Raborg familymoved from San Diego to Phoenix. Some 13 years after Jean’s healing she was invited to come to Salt Lake City, Utah to share her testimony with a women’s group. Jean flew from Phoenix to San Diego to meet her daughter Jeanelle, who going to accompany her to Salt Lake City. “Mom,” said Jeanelle, “I wonder if Allan Lindemann could be flying this plane?” Jean smiled and said, “Honey, I am sure he is retired by now but to satisfy your curiousity I’ll ask.” Jean asked the stewardess who smiled and said, “His name is Captain Allan Lindemann.” Jean couldn’t believe it. She sent Allen a letter message that she and Jeanelle were on the plane. The stewardess brought it back and said Allen would meet them in Salt Lake City and have coffee wtih them. Normally Allan did not fly to Salt Lake City. His usual route was San Diego to San Francisco. He was filling in for another pilot on this day. At least this was the human reason why he found himself in Salt Lake City in December 1981. The real reason he was in Salt Lake City had been decreed by God 13 years earlier in a mental institution. At the airport restaurant, Allen asked Jean what she was doing in Salt Lake City. “I am hear to share my testimony of my healing,” Jean said. “Oh yes, I remember that prophet fellow had a vision of Pat when you were healed.” Jean smiled and said, “That’s right Allen but he just didn’t see Pat, he saw you too.” “Really?” Allen asked wondering why. “Yes, he saw me talking to you while you were in your airline uniform. This is how he knew you were an airline pilot.” Allen just sat back and said, “That’s amazing.” “Yes it is amazing Allen. It shows you how much God loves you, and how well he knows you.” From there Jean began to share the Gospel with him. Alan’s eyes filled with tears. For the first time he understood Jesus took his place on the cross and paid for ALL of his sins. That day, Allan Lindemann trusted in the Lord Jesus to save him from his sins. He was born again right before Jean’s eyes. “Allan, this is just like Paul said it would be in the vision he saw of you, you were wearing your uniform. You heard my testimony and the Gospel in the vision and you became born again.” Allan continued to cry. Finally he said, “What you don’t know Jean, is that this is the last day I will ever wear this uniform again. I am retiring today from PSA Airlines. In just a little while I am flying home to San Diego, and I will never wear this uniform again.” On the last possible day, Captain Allan Lindemann was saved. Why? Because a word from God had decreed it 13 years earlier in an insane asylum and no word from God will ever fall to the ground before it is fulfilled.
Jean Raborg was saved and set free by the Word of God AND the Spirit of God. Allan Lindemann was saved by the power of the Word of God AND the Spirit of God. You must have both. Don’t ever give up on your miracle!